Have you ever moved to a new area for a job, a lover or some other opportunity, and not really known what you were getting yourself into? I'm coining a new term for it - Transplantism. There are a thousand blogs containing tips and advice for moving to a new city. This is not that kind of blog post. Here's why: I still call Massachusetts "home" even though I now reside in Los Angeles. It confuses the hell out of my partner and my mom.
Most of the people I know in Southern California are transplants. People who have moved from out of state or even different countries come here to find their fortune. In a weird way, I can almost picture what the gold rush looked like... sparkly-eyed young people following their dreams of becoming rich and/or famous. Or perhaps, more in tune with reality, just looking for their fifteen minutes. Native Californians are here too, but in my mind, are not nearly as enamored with the beach, the canyons, the mountains and the valley.
Other transplants moved here simply for the year-round summertime vibes. As I sit here, it's nearing 88 degrees outside, sun streaming through my window... I get it, summer is awesome. But I've been saving for a rainy day for a really long time. And frost? Snow? Gotta take a drive up to the mountains for that. I'll tell you a secret. I miss winter. Not necessarily the dirty snow and digging out your car part of winter. But I miss the community that winter creates. Neighbors meeting neighbors as the plows destroy all your shoveling on the edge of your driveway. Snow days spent walking around town in your snow pants or huddled indoors with a few friends and a good movie. I know I'm romanticizing here, but the community itself is different in LA than what I know. And it's difficult to describe why. Bear with me.
Los Angeles in particular has a certain way about it, that even after three and a half years of living here, I'm still getting used to it. Not just the lack of seasons (what natives like to call micro-seasons,) but the city bases itself off of this "what can you do for me" attitude. There is in fact no community at all. Pockets of small groups come together around a cause, a belief or a location, but I can never imagine the entire city of LA pausing it's rhythm for anything. Maybe if the Dodgers were in the world series? Probably not though, as so many transplants remain loyal to their home teams, (as evidenced by the ridiculous cheering for the Cubs I heard last night in our building.)
But there are some transplants that I've known who have fully embraced every weird, crazy and wild opportunity that this city has to offer.
Transplants have a certain strong desire to be here and prove something, to themselves or others. I think that can contribute to the general feeling of professional, goal-oriented back-scratching. Some of this can also be attributed to the film industry as history and my professors noted the "It helps if you know someone" mentality in job acquisition. It's sadly true. Some people are not hired here based off of their intellect, skills or quality of work. Wanna know how bad movies get made? (Maybe another post for another day.) The bottom line is there is so much at stake for transplants in LA. No one wants to return home with their tail between their legs, although many have and many more will. And boy, I was not prepared for the level of passive-aggressiveness I've encountered here. I'm used to a just plain aggressive, New England, eff off, kind of thing. Then you forgive each other and move on. I know this all sounds incredibly cynical and if you can believe it, I'm holding back.
I would also like to point out that after college/grad school, it is increasingly difficult to find meaningful friendships as most people are stretched thin, due to overworking and dare I say, family/children (?!) Yeah, I went there. This is not specific to LA, but has been challenging for other friends in other cities I've spoken with recently. Wouldn't it be cool if we could make friends the way that 4-year-olds do? Just walk up to someone and say, "Hi, do you want to be my friend?"
There are some transplants that I've known who have fully embraced every weird, crazy and wild opportunity that this city has to offer. I have seen people thrive here professionally and personally. It is possible. And maybe they're made of tougher stuff. Maybe they have had more positive experiences. Maybe they found their tribe. But I think any transplant can attest, no matter where you're from, becoming an Angeleno is a long process. This article offers some tangible ways to help ease the transition to a new place... Taking notes myself!